> Living Together: Be a better Room-mate

Hi again, everyone. This week I wanted to delve not into a technology or geek topic, but one that most people can understand: sharing a living space with others. A lot of people during and just after school years live together under a common roof. Some do it to save money; others to enjoy the company. It seems like an obviously awesome thing, but it isn't always the easiest. People have different standards, different concerns, and when you tie your house affairs up with someone else these can clash. What's important is to talk out these differences, and work through issues before they become big, scary and monstrous.

Listening to your Roomies, even when they seem to be asking for too much, is a good way to start. If you disagree with what someone is expecting of you, go ahead and say so; just wait for them to finish what they want to tell you first. If you're having trouble with someone you live with and you don't know why, chances are communication has broken down.

If you listen, but don't hear anything wrong, perhaps the problem is someone doesn't feel they can talk to you about the problem. Maybe they told you a thousand times about something, and now they expect it without asking. Maybe something seems obvious to them, even if it isn't for you. It's hard to read someone else's thoughts. If this is the case, it may be best to try and bring up  your best guess is to them, and see if they respond. If they don't, at least you've tried to resolve the issue; they'll come around if they are reasonable.

Come up with a system that works for everyone. No one wants to feel forced into a way of doing things around the house. Try to work together to come up with a simple, easy to execute cleaning and house chores plan. If you buy joint food or amenities, come up with a system for that too. Once you can get everyone to agree to an easy system, it will be much easier to convince them to follow it. With enough time and practice, you likely won't have to convince them at all.

Lastly, disagreements WILL happen. Believe me, I've lived with enough people to know that we can all ruffle each other's feathers from time to time. If things do come to a shouting match, the best thing you can do is walk away until you are calm enough to discuss things without getting emotionally distressed. Even if you are still being yelled at, by simply not engaging with anger you have kept the situation from escalating. If you can do that perfectly you may as well join a monastery; if you can't, it's okay, we are all only human. Do your best to not react badly to whatever may happen, and you'll live much better among the people you've chosen to share a roof with.

12/13/2013 - As an addendum, sometimes it will be simply impossible for you to please your roommate completely. This is true with any relationship, and when it happens you'll have to weigh that against how much you value the relationship. Use your best judgement; it's never a good idea to burn bridges, unless that bridge is a toxic relationship.

Thanks for listening; until next time!